What's is Like to Be You?

For a standing room only crowd at the National Museum of Mexican Art last night, a group of fiesty Chicanas unveiled their new book, Chicanas of 18th Street, and spoke of their more than forty years of activism in the Chicago Hispanic community. There were cheers and tears in the audience, spontaneous expressions of heartfelt appreciation from a number of men (!), and an embarrassing shortage of tamales for a turnout that was three times what had been expected. The authors' overriding theme was that the "struggles" (this word was used often) continue and these women write and speak to teach and inspire the generations that follow.

But the previous day one of the most thoughtful, dedicated, and articulate Hispanic advocates I know posted an essay on Facebook raising the question of why the Hispanic community in Chicago seems to have lost momentum in its activist movement. He teaches at a local college where most of the students are of Mexican heritage, and asked this question of two of his classes. The response was that they were unwilling to give up the twenty or thirty dollars they would earn working in order to attend a demonstration or other activist activity. Is the issue money, the author/teacher wondered? Or fear? Or something else? He invited comments; as of this morning there has been only one.

He is asking the wrong question.

The Chicanas inspired an overwhelming turnout. Young women rose from the audience to ask tearfully what they could do to help, how they could become more involved. Discussion was halted after two hours or the crowd might still be there this morning. In fact, they may indeed yet be there! I briefly perused a couple of poster displays while consuming my one lonely tamal, signed up for the mailing list, picked my way through the milling crowd that clearly was going nowhere soon, and took my leave in order to go home to dogs much in need of walks. Who knows what time the museum finally emptied of that crowd?

Hispanic activism clearly is alive and well in Chicago, indeed, in the very same barrio where turnout had been so poor for a demonstration two short weeks ago. How is the difference to be explained?

The easy question to ask always is, "Why don't others do what I believe they should?" Why don't they march in the streets for a good cause, why don't they take their medicine, watch their diets, keep their medical appointments, exercise regularly, turn off the TV or computer and read a book, sit down as a family for dinner at night, and make love, not war?

But the question that yields meaningful answers and suggests where discussion and action need to begin if behavior change is to be inspired is, "What are they doing instead of what I believe they should?" Because it is in actions that values and priorities are reflected, and until a recommended behavior change serves those values and priorities as well as or better than current practices and habits, change won't happen. Jack Glidewell, a professor with whom I studied at the University of Chicago years ago, used to emphasize that when seeking to make change in any organization or group it is imperative to remember that any behavior or practice that has persisted for a long period of time has done so for a reason, and unless that reason is understood and continues to be satisfied, the proposed change will not be embraced.

So, if workers have functioned for years in a punitive environment where mistakes were punished instead of corrected and order was maintained with threats rather than reason and discourse, sudden introduction of a new manager or, worse!, "consultant" who announces that an "open door policy" and shared governance now are the order of the day is likely to meet with mute disregard and heightened suspicion. If the Sunday School class followed by the worship service followed by the church supper for decades has been the anchor and highlight of an old woman's week, counsel that she must take a "water pill" that will require her to run to the restroom every twenty minutes or have" accidents," and that she may not eat the foods served at the supper because they contain too much salt, fat, and sugar is likely to cause cognitive dissonance at best, and almost certainly to be ignored over time. Understanding the historic context of the work setting and the values and needs served by longstanding personal habits are key to improving both the workplace and personal health. Any anything else.

I don't know why the Pilsen community packed an auditorium last night but did not appear for a march two weeks ago. I don't know why "Mr. Brown" missed his doctor's appointment last week. I don't know precisely why any one of millions of Americans will overeat and make unwise food choices this holiday season. But I do know that asking why they don't do something other than they do will not give me the answers I need to inspire them to make different choices. Instead I need to ask, "Where were you the day of the demonstration? What were you doing? What was that like for you; how was it important? Did you know about the demonstration; how does/doesn't it matter to you?" and "What happened last week, Mr. Brown? Where were you and what were you doing the day of your doctor's appointment? How was that important to you? How do you feel about going to the doctor? What makes it easy/hard for you to go?" and "Tell me about your holidays. What do you do and with whom? What are your fondest memories? To what do you look forward? What is most special to you, and what do you most enjoy? Are there aspects of holidays that are difficult for you, and, if so, how do you manage that?"

Knowing that one is comfortable sitting in an auditorium but not marching in the streets, or that the comfort of the church community and of longstanding habits is greater than the discomfort of any exacerbated health problem, or that mindless consumption of cherished traditional foods in the company of too-rarely seen loved ones and a good televised football game brings greater joy than seeing a two pound weight loss on the scale the next morning tells me where to begin if I hope to bring change.

When we were divorcing many years ago my soon-to-be-ex husband looked at me with pained eyes and asked, "Why can't you be who I want you to be?" My answer might have been, "For the same reason that you can't love me for who I am." Just as a marriage based on projecting a fantasy onto one's partner is not likely to succeed, so efforts to bring behavior change, whether by inspiring a community or a single patient, are likely to be sorely misguided when they proceed from the question, "Why don't you do/be/think as I want?" Instead may the question always be,

"What's It Like to Be You?"